Jaeger Bombs Away

Made Me Smile (if you've been to Phuket you'll Understand)A Humorous T-Shirt from Phuket



OK So sorry for the delay between posts but despite my best intentions we met other backpackers and got led astray resulting in a 3 day hangover and complete inability to think let alone type. I get ahead of myself.
Well remember last time we were thinking of Krabi in the morning that went by the wayside as when we woke up, Helen wanted to see more beaches. I know what your thinking the is more to back packing than sun bathing but try telling her that :)
So check out was at 12pm and we only had 15 minutes to decide where we were going before we left the room, so i decide bollocks to money lets try Phi-Phi Island after all its only 30 Min's by ferry.

Our Fearless Adventurers Strike Out Across The Open Sea's



Although unfortunately when reading guides i should really pay more attention to travel times especially when its not 30 minutes but 120 minutes and you have really not got a very good pair of sea legs.So much so Helen then proceeded to throw up 6 times on our journey, now when your feeling not too good yourself and the person next to you is praying to Huey its all you can do to stop yourself from being ill as well, and i really didn't have much time for sympathy and the funny looks i got from people around us showed they didn't think i was particularly nice(although if the wanted to come and swap places and play Mother Teresa they would of had my blessing.)


Phi-Phi Harbour After the longest 2 hrs in History



Phi-Phi Bay



One good thing from the Trip was we met a lovely American Couple Steve and Lesley who were veteran backpackers and had jumped on the ferry after a epic 30 hr trek, when we disembarked they decided they couldn't be bothered arguing with the hordes of Accommodation touts at the docks and decided to follow us to the Kao Chao Phi-Phi Lodge which was absolutely gorgeous and had its own pool.
We got on so well we ended up hanging around at some point of the following days several times and they always had witty stories about all the place the have visited, As Steve recently retired from being a teacher and every summer holiday set off on a trek to some far flung country.

Steve and Lesley.




Strike a Pose.



Spotted this one at a bar and no wonder alot of people come to Phi-Phi to work.



On One of our ventures out we met another backpacking couple Andy and Leanne and got on like a house on fire with them. Resulting with the 6 of us at a beach party that night, which co-incidentally was when Leanne and Andy introduced me to Jaeger bombs to say it got messy was a understatement, and Steve and Leslie left us early as i think they could see where it was going :s
All i can say about the Party is they had live music then Circus acts in which a Clown Got Blindfolded and proceeded to chop cucumbers out of Andy's hands and mouth wielding a Samurai Sword... (Fuck that... to be honest) Next it was the turn of 5 fire dancers on the beach to keep us entertained and finally there was a Bouncing House DJ set until the early hrs at 2 am we decided to call it a night when people started Skinny dipping and proceeded to stumble back to our hotel room or rather i did as Helen was sober and took great delight in reminding me in the morning about trying to get food out from the wardrobe and turning the lights on and off like a disco while trying to turn of the bathroom light. Ah well you live and learn.

Andy Looking Slightly Worried.



Maybe i should of used this picture for the Dance of The Flaming Arse Holes Title :)



More Fire Antics



And Some more.




The Party Spills Onto The Beach.



At this point we realised we had to curb our spending as our room was costing us 1400 Baht a night($47) so we took Andy and Leanne's advice and moved to a Backpackers hotel near them about 5 minutes further to walk but only 350 Baht a night.
So we booked in there without any further ado.

The View on the way to our New Room.



On yet another night out we met two other back packers Ed and Leah both of whom are Irish and it emerged Ed was going back home after a year of traveling through South East Asia. So we decided to go for a Indian On his last night and have another night on the piss(yes another, i know not good)
Anyway it was another night of good food, cocktails and debauchery that slowly got messy and messier.

The Gang. More Jaeger Bombs Please.




Ed Loving his Send Off.



Ed and Leah Getting Increasingly Close ( I'm sure theres gossip here seeing as they weren't a couple who knows )



Anyway yesterday was spent in its entirety recovering and tonight we are going for a few beers over and Steve & Lesley's new place, they have a bungalow over looking a different Secluded beach and we are gonna chill and watch the sunset before going out for a meal.
So for now take care all. Love you long time.

Dance Of The Flaming Arse Holes

OK The Only way to rehydrate your body with fluid and essential salts after the squits( it rhymes) is to consume mineral packs, now these are orange in colour and actually look quite appetising like a nice glass of Kiora Orange Cordial, don't be fooled remember when you were back at school and you always had some smart arse, who thought it would be funny to pour salt in your drink or loosen the top on the pepper pot so your food became inedible. well it tastes like that guy had just made you a lovely glass of yak.

The Aforementioned glass of Yak.




So now I'm slowly recovering from my bout of diarrhea, and Helen has now got a dose involving dashing to the bathroom more times than is normal necessary for a month of toilet business.


Anyway we left remote Kamala Beach By a Sawngthaew, a Thai version of a bus, think a old decrepit truck made of wood ( i shit you not, Wood!!) with 2 benches in the back (No Seat belts, Remember Kids safety first) Mind you when you see the mode of transport for a average family of four, i guess this is pretty safe. On the Plus side the Sawngthaew is Cheap 50 Baht Each from Kamala and the journey took 1hr 10 Min's. Not the most comfortable mode of transport but on the whole we may have to get used to this.


Me Chilling In The Sawngthaew.



The Average Family of Four's Transport.( Count them )



Mad eh? anyway we hit Phuket Town, without too much ado, one thing was the locals on the Sawngthaew seemed fascinated with the idea of westerners traveling on their bus i guess its not something that happens all that often judging by the looks we got of the locals.
Next we landed at the Thavorn hotel as recommended in Lonely Planets Place to stay on a budget, if your a traveler reading this avoid this shit hole if you have a chance they have 2 standards of room grim and grimmer,being on a budget we asked to see the cheapest first.OMFG OMFG OMFG i was filled with trepidation as we were taken out the back of the hotel and walked down a dirt track moving towards a dilapidated block of flats in what looked like a place a junkie would of drawn the line at. Now being quite resilient and a bloke I'm not generally to bothered where i lay my head.Helen at this point had a fit and put her foot down and told me there was no-way on earth were we staying here.

Hell Boys Flat.



Notice the boarded window, holes in mattress with wires poking through, lack of bed sheets and what you cant see in this photos is the smell of piss and mould, or the human faeces rubbed on the wall. Nice all for only 280 Baht no extra charge for the crap.
At which point we returned to the hotel reception and declined the room and asked to see the posh room.
The "posh" room was 550 Baht and was like it was decorated 40 years ago and reception when describing the room was extremely proud of the fact that it had hot water, "Hot Water" wasn't really that hot to be honest it was slightly cooler than tepid, still the sheets were clean and the mattress didn't sag to much, although here is were we slipped up. the "posh room" we were shown at was away from the street front.
When we got the key to our room our room was at the front of the hotel which is also were the main road is and trust me when i say you can hear it all night, you can hear the traffic all night. Upon looking at my receipt for the room it stated on the receipt no refunds issued so rather than go down stairs and argue i figured i could put up with it for one night.

About 8 pm we decided to go to a pub called O'Malleys as recommended in the Lonely Planet Guide and i quote

"Travelling thousands of miles to sink a Guinness in an Irish Pub always feels a little daft, but Phukets homesick flock to this cosy watering hole for pool and assorted shenanigans. It has a generally welcoming atmosphere and the interior is almost authentic, if a little too clean"

In reality should of read something like this.

"Travelling thousands of miles to sink a Guinness in an Irish Pub always feels a little daft, however if you can be arsed with the trek out of town ( and it is a trek) following our advice to get a authentic Pint of Guinness and a game of pool,
you WILL be disappointed with it's graffiti style picture of Bob Marley on the wall and Rasta colours Painted on the roof oh and also a distinct lack of a pool table, however don't be too disappointed, as there is a girl outside that can do tricks with pool balls you wont believe, and while there is no Guinness on offer we can always offer you a bottle of Singha beer at twice the price it is everywhere else.
Don't despair though folks there is a Murphy behind the bar, yep you guessed it "Akhmed Murphy" ex Lady boy from Bangkok and the closest thing to a white person on the bar staff"

Needless to say we had one drink and left stopping off for a meal on the way back now one thing that is curious i don't know how half the business's can survive at the moment because virtually every restaurant we have been to outside Patong we have been the only customers in it,great for the personal service a bit strange for the mood and ambiance of a place.

Is That a Tumble Weed.



This Morning we moved Hotel to the Imperial Hotel round the corner and the rooms are much better styled albeit a little dated, free Wi-fi in the rooms and a movie channel, after we had moved Helen wasn't overly impressed with my suggestions for entertainment for the day, either visit the local Temple or the book store to say she wasn't amused is a understatement.

We headed to the Temple of Serene Light as i figured it would be more interesting than looking at Thai Books ( i reckon Helen is missing her beaches now although to be fair i know i am :( )

Don't wear your shoe's or the Monk's will come and do some Kung Foo on your ass.












After our jaunt to the temple i had a visit to the local dentist, now in UK prices i need a £1000 worth of work seeing i was here i reckoned i'd be able to get it done for about £500, and there's the problem people in the UK complain of racism, and yes i'm sure there is a element of it in any society in the world.
However it's bad when you have two price for every thing as a Farrang (Westerner) when they quote you anything its 4/5 times what they ask our Thai counterparts and even when you engage in bartering with them and know the price that it should be they wont budge or if they do move its very little, now you can argue that its just because you are tourists, but i have often pondered how the Thai Males feel about all the Dirty Old Men who come out here as sex tourists. I know i feel a amount of repulsion towards them, i mean its quite often you see men in their 60-70's with Thai Girls in their early teens, surely it irritates them.
I digress the aforementioned Dentist Quoted me £2000/$4000 to have the work done and even when i checked the website of a high class cosmetic dentist in Bangkok for the work he said i needed done it was £900/$1800.
At which point he wanted to start straight away, fortunately Helen was back in the hotel room with the squits still giving me a excuse to say i had to talk it through with her as that was most of our trip money and i made a sharp exit.
I think i will wait till i get to Bangkok for the dental work and see what weird and wonderful price they come up with there, on that note i'm off but i think we've had enough of Phuket town for now and maybe head to Krabi in the Morning.

Kamala Dreams

Not a lot to say but about tea time i got restless and decided to walk to the very end of Kamala Beach and wait for the sun to go down. Here's some pics i took.

Waiting For Sunset.




Still Waiting..



Still Waiting!!



Here we go.














i'll sort out a way tomorrow so when you click the pics they go high resolution.

Never Trust a Fart!!!

Let me expand on this for you, it should read "Never trust a fart when traveling"
You see following our lovely last meal in Kata beach during which was the only occasion while dining at the picturesque outdoor restaurant, that my meal differed from Helen's.
Helen having a Prawn Curry, while i had a chicken curry, well god i wished i loved prawns and had had the same as Helen because in the past 24 hrs i have had more visits to the great room of porcelain than George Michael has during an entire year of "Cottaging" (if your unsure Google it) in the UK's Parks.
Making me one Unhappy Bunny although not as unhappy as the maid when she cleaned our bathroom of us this morning (I bet her face was a picture)
Anyway under duress and dutifully dosed up on Imodium Anti-Lax we went for a meal at the rather beautiful Kamala Restaurant (original name for a place on Kamala Beach)
Unfortunately there was another couple browsing the menu outside, so we just jumped straight in, when the menu came with the prices on Helen wanted us to jump straight out again.Anyway to be fair the food was good after selecting some of the lesser priced meals ( some of these meals could of been compared to Americas newly found national debt )

Kamala Restaurant.






Anyway so after my continuing escapade of the Grecian flyer's, we went for a quick walk on the beach, one thing the beach here is pretty but isn't a patch on Kata's Beach. We even saw a dead snake washed up. But me being a dick didn't think to photograph it.

Helen once again in Beach Pose Mode.




Local Fishes.



Hobbiton




Life Guards they are, Baywatch it ain't.



The Posh Bit.



We had planned to go to the Phuket Fantasea show tonight, unfortunately we are gonna leave it till tomorrow as i don't think my belly can stand up to a 6 hr jaunt around there,but I'll keep you updated.

Paul out.

Last Night at Kata

OK so for our last night in Kata i decided to wander down to beach while Helen was making herself pretty, and try and capture some photo's of the sunset for peep's who are following the blog.
Unfortunately if i upload the pics to photo bucket at full resolution my blog miss displays them so they really don't do them any justice, all i can say is in the flesh they are breath taking and are almost worth the trip for just the sunsets.

Helen makes the best of one last day on the beach.




Helen Posing on the beach. (what else is new?)



Kata before Sunset



Local Noodle seller try's to capatilise on the last few beach bums.




Purple Nights.







Anyway to round up a beautiful stay in Kata, we had yet another Thai Meal (mmm sooo good) and stopped off at a lively bar for a night cap (Once again filled with dirty old men but hey)

This Morning we got up and decided we would exercise our backpackers rights of doing whatever the hell we want, and decided we hadn't had enough beaches yet. So we headed up to the more north western part of Phuket which is even less Touristy and went to Hat Kamala.
Apparently about 10 km to the north there is a even more remote beach that Sea Turtles Lay their eggs on once a year. Unfortunatley we are about a month to early but might be worth a moped ride up there, watch this space.

Oh another bonus of landing here is the hotel next door doesnt have protected wireless, so i have been able to hax into their network and use their bandwidth and its only cost 400 Baht a night ($12/£6.66) and it has A/C and a balcony that we can sit out on and see the sea, listening to the sound of the waves while chilling drinking a nice cold beer(Awesome)

The view For Six Quid Benjamin Resort Hat Kamala Beach (Nice One Geezer)



Anyway enough for today, take it easy.
I know we will

Kata Beach

OK, So from Patong beach which is a bit like a hotter Blackpool and miles, miles,miles Prettier we headed to Kata Beach which is further down towards the south coast of Phuket, and it is renowned for its chilled surf vibe, gorgeous beach and great food.

On the way we passed Rich Kids Play Ground Karon Beach.(bear in mind Helen took this pic from a moving taxi.)



Now after Getting chatting to our taxi driver on the way he persuades me to have a look at a different place than we were originally going to stay, as it was only 100 metres from the beaches had A/C shower etc ( and at this point i figured they obviously gave kickbacks to the taxi drivers)
To be fair to our Taxi driver the bungalow/room is set in the middle of tropical plants and although the furniture is a little dated it has all amenities apart from Internet and Phone it also has a rather endearing hand painted picture on the wall ( not hung on the wall but literally on the wall!!)


Pimp My Tuk-Tuk



The Picture (White House Inn Kata Beach)



Now as we ventured out that first day obviously we worked our way down to the beach and as promised it was only 100m away and the view that greeted me as i walked upon it just blew me away, not only was this the quieter end away from the crowds (by crowds i mean a handful of people at the other end near the posh resorts)
It was definitely the most beautiful with a natural rock formation standing out to attention greeting us from sea maybe 50m away, the sand are gleaming and clean and you realise what a opportunity you have to be here in this picturesque country for any length of time.

Kata Beach Views.












On one of our forays onto the beach we saw a single fisherman take up his net and swim far out to sea and back again trying to eek a existence out from his trade (if you ask me a slightly dangerous profession, hard enough swimming with the rip currents as the red flag was up but dragging a net behind you no thanks)




One Of the things Helen wanted to do,ever since we left the UK was ride a horse and unfortunately even though I'd promised her we'd get chance in Canada opportunity never presented itself, so we decided to rent a Moped and strike out and look for a horse riding place that came recommended in the Lonely Planet Guide.

Fortunately on this foray my Unerring sense of direction was having a good day and we arrived about half a hr after we set off with very little drama apart from a trip round a roundabout of doom, Gee the Thai's are dangerous enough in a straight line, don't confuse matters with a circular route to take.
Anyway We Pulled in to the Aforementioned riding school and had the choice of 2 trips one as a beach ride and one as a jungle ride.
Seeing as the beach was a 2hr ride and twice as much we opted for a Jungle trip involving a trek through some wild rubber tree plantations, now while I'm sure Helen enjoyed her ride, i don't think it will be one she wants to emulate again , at least for a while as she keeps moaning her backsides aching ever since :)

Get Off Ya Horse and drink Your Milk Pilgrim!!!



Where are the brakes on this thing!!!



Thats Right im the Lone Ranger!!!!! (with boobs)



Anyway till next time. Keep Safe.

Paul.