My phone blares out its cheesy techno ring tone that i have set at 4:30 am so that we didn't over sleep and miss our plane, now in my infinite wisdom the previous night, I'd stashed my phone on the other side of the room.
The rationale behind such thinking, was that if had to physically leave my pit and crossover the room there would be less chance of me just snoozing my Mobile and drifting later into a panic realising I'd missed the plane( potentially causing a big argument with Helen resulting in her getting the hump and leaving my sorry ass resulting in my apparent suicide because woe is me you get the idea)
Anyway so bleary eyed i stumble through the complete darkness that was our bedroom bashing into half a dozen things ultimately leading to me bashing my little toe on the cabinet. now if any of you have ever bashed your little toe, you know the kind of pain I'm talking and the potential torrent of abuse that can spill from your usually pristine mouth in the following minutes.
Anyway after I'd gently woken Helen with my not so amenable chatter i dived in the shower, and proceeded to get my self into the back packing groove.
Me in the Back Packing Groove.
Me and Helen in the Back Packing Groove. Obviously I'm more in the groove than Helen.
Anyway so after we had both finished faffing about. My Mum and Garry gave us a lift to Edmonton International Airport now there was great potential for a tearful farewell here but me being the rock hard bloke that i am.I held it together and promptly went into a sulk that lasted the first couple of hours of our journey....Sorry Babes.
Anyway back to the story its not hard to find, ninjas start talking Bbbbb,body over mind..... hang on shit no that's the Turtle Power song, anyway we commenced our epic trek across several continents and consisting of over 10,000 miles of flight and a total journey of Thirty One Hours, of which 24 Hours was in the air.
24 Hours now when i sit here and contemplate that as a time scale it sounds like bugger all.
But seriously hold that thought add to it being cramped into a space smaller than a room that Big Bill from the local penitentiary got for solitary confinement, when he stabbed Weaselly Will with a pen for stealing his Doritos's, and Rather lovely looking Korean Air hostess's whilst rather easy on the eye not easy on the brain whilst trying to talk to, they just try to guess at random what you wanted so instead of ending up with water you end up being severely dehydrated just to avoid talking to them.
One of the saving graces was on the flight from Seoul to Phuket, it was virtually empty ( now as to why your guess is as good as mine maybe with the recent troubles all the dirty old men think not only the Airports were on strike but the hookers as well? who knows)
Anyway so both me and Helen were able to command an entire row of seats to our self and get some shuteye. Or at least we were while there was no turbulence about because as soon as there was, even though i was kicking out z's bad boy style, I'd get wakened by a overly demure hand shaking my shoulder with the rousing cry of
"Mister you got seat belt on, yes?"
Now why the hell she thought id of taken it off, as this went on as many as four times during this flight, confounds me but seeing as I'm in danger of sound like a cantankerous old bar steward I'll leave the issue there.
Anyway we land at Phuket and proceed through and collect our luggage. Now i calmly retrieved our luggage from the rotating luggage mover of doom, seriously guys have you seen how dangerous that shit is? and unfortunately one of our bags had got some sticking gooey gel shit on it, now Helen surprise me at this point in that she wasn't so much upset that one of " our " bags had got this on it more that it was her bag and not mine that had it on it, Seriously ask her,is she a complete headcase or what?
Anyway we proceed through customs were the custom officer didn't say a word to us just used hand gestures, I'd of liked to of used some gestures of my own, bar for two reasons.
1.) i don't fancy being someones bum boy in Prison ( not that i have anything against gay people, just there are 25 people in Thai Mens Prison cells and as resilient as i am i don't think i could handle being 25 blokes bum boys)
2.) Helen would of probably killed me before they could make me into any one's bum boy.
Next after we get through custom's we are pounced on by a horde of would be taxi drivers, i cant explain the experience of this to you. You have to try it Having suffered from a severe lack of sleep being generally grouchy at this point, barely able to understand them. Didn't overly help my state of mind anyway we approached a less seedy looking taxi driver and bartered him down to 600 baht for a taxi from the airport to our hotel, now in the cool light of day i have no doubt i paid over the odds for this however what can you do when in that situation.
So we proceed to his car, which smells strangely of wet dogs. now communicating with him was to say a little taxing but to be fair in between his bouts of singing along to his Thai Music on the radio, he was a fairly helpful chap, but to be honest even his pleasant demeanor didn't help alleviate my paranoia, now while having a little paranoia is healthy, while traveling down dimly lit streets of what looked to be slums in the dark without street lights. well i suppose its less healthy anyway after watching out for all the street signs (and surmising that seeing as the taxi driver was about 8 stone wet through if it came to it i could snap his neck ( and who says playing too much computer games is bad for you) we'd be OK.
About 5 minutes later we pulled into the hotel, now currently and for the next couple of months its rainy season here in Thailand but bloody hell its still hot even at 1:30 am its hot and muggy.
Now the hotel was a nice surprise very nice setting,with all kinds of tropical plants.
Whilst the room was large clean stylish with a Jacuzzi in it as well.
Unfortunately we are here for only a couple of nights as at $40 a night its double what we want to achieve on our "Back Packers Budget" so we need to do some more scouting about to source new accommodation and tomorrow I'll post what our first impressions of Phuket in the cold light of day are and how our scouting went.
Anyway Ciao For Now.
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